October has begun to act as it should and I’m curling my toes with pleasure as I re-live old rituals… the stove is lit, coffee has been ground and set on the hot plate in the Moka pot while the windows darken and the silhouette of the big oak tree blends slowly into the night. I’m having a day off tomorrow which means I can drink coffee and listen to 6Music all night, like in the days before the gallery, with no fear of nodding off on the drive to work. The month began in a most unpleasant way and for one reason or another which I won’t go in to, I am now in the Gallery Cafe full time which was exactly the polar opposite outcome to the one I had hoped for. I’ve been soul searching and over analysing and wondering what my problem is but I can only conclude that I have the unfortunate combination of cripplingly low self esteem and an over-inflated ego! Maybe I’ve been wrong all along… but what was the point of doing my degree, all that time and effort when all anyone wants me for is soup and scones ?
Anyway, the good news is that my “Keats’ commission is at last ready to wing its way south to its new home. Sometimes, while attempting to combine work with trying to be creative I have been struck down with inertia and it was interesting to read this article in the Guardian last week. It made me look back at times when I feel I was very productive creatively ( relative to now I mean) and ironically it was probably when I was living a much less structured life; sleeping until late and working long in to the night with lots of coffee, whiskey and cigarettes combined with emotional upheaval! There is an argument that working the “day job” makes free time more precious and therefore less likely to be wasted but I obviously lack stamina as I just want to sleep like a bear.
So, it’s time to start a new project…any requests? My first is to make myself an apron for work, since this is now my lot. I shall embroider it with messages to cheer me up when the going gets tough and the scones come out flat. It will have big pockets and a built in oven timer ( so far this week I have burnt:- a pan of pasta, a tray of squash, a bulb of garlic and 6 red peppers ).
I will leave you now with this cup of coffee… my one success from a brilliant evening at LMDC Espresso Bar in Harrogate. Lauren and I went for a barista training session last week and had such a good time; I can’t recommend them highly enough…thanks for a great night Lesley. Mostly I made a mess and laughed so much the coffee spilled all over my hand ( that could have been the effects of all the caffeine ) but this fern did eventually emerge from the foam and attempting to recreate it at work is going to keep me busy for a while…my aim is to be able to make bears in the latte.
Reading: “I Capture the Castle” Dodie Smith Listening to : “Bohemian Like You” Dandy Warhols